The
Bodymind Transformation Institute®
|
|
DYING
FOR LOVE Several
years ago I met a lady who was receiving radiation treatment for her second
mastectomy. Her response to the question; "How do you feel about
the cancer?" was "I am very thankful." A visit to her doctor revealed a lump in her breast which turned out to be malignant, resulting in a mastectomy, and a program of treatment to stabilize her. This changed everything at home. The girls and her husband were wonderful. They took such good care of her; cooking, tidying the house, shopping for groceries, spending lots of time with her, taking care of her every need. She was waited on hand and foot. The girls rarely went out, and the TV was off most of the time. She never felt so loved and cared for before in her whole life. About a year later she had made a total recovery, and everyone was relieved and impressed. Eventually life returned to normal. The danger was over, the pressure was off, so the girls started staying out again, the TV and the newspapers resumed as before, and the nods and grunts took the place of conversation. Everything was as it was before. Guess what? No prizes for this one. Yes! She developed a tumor in her other breast, which resulted in yet another mastectomy. At the time of our conversation she was in great danger of dying, as the cancer was spreading rapidly. In spite of this she was happy, because she had, "....everything I want. I have my family around me." The girls were staying home, the TV was off, everything was being done for her. Her friends were calling by to see her, and bringing lovely gifts. She was hardly ever on her own or without someone fussing over her. The sad part of this was that she was going to die, and leave the very people whose love she wanted. Simply she was dying for what she thought was love. The price was very high. It was so sad to see her sacrifice her flesh to get that which she did not know how to ask for. She would not dare to ask the girls to spend time with her, or to help her with chores, because she didn't want to impose on them. She tolerated her husband's behaviour because she could see that he was a hard working man and a good provider. She could not justify asking for more from him. She could always understand why she could not have what she wanted, and would die rather than be unreasonable. She said that she thought it was easier to die than make the changes. In her case it was a clear conscious decision that she did not intend to recover from this illness. This is not a rare scenario where cancer is concerned. I have seen so many people who love each other dearly, but are sadly lacking in intimacy. Love is not the answer - intimacy is. Real intimacy is being able to open up, sharing the little details, and risking everything with your partner. Don't wait for life threatening situations to let down the barriers. Lack of communication in relationships is deadly. Very often the cancer person is the type who endures quietly, stuffing his or her feelings. When you ask them how they are, they usually say "Fine!" They are afraid of being overwhelmed by their feelings, if they do open up. If this rings true for you, or someone you know, act now. Reach out and get help. There are people out there who can easily assist in changing this deadly chemistry. Don't waste a life, especially if it's yours. There is a lot you can do about it. And remember, "You are worth it!"
Mark
McFeely is a Master Healer, Founder of the Bodymind Transformation Institute
in Phoenix.
Contact
information:
Sessions in
person, or by phone, by appointment only. Click here to E-mail Mark McFeely
Click here for more information Mother/Child healing connection Normal or Healthy - What's your choice? Modern Meds = New World Religion Live
to Live, or Live to Die?
Please
read this disclaimer: ©Mark
McFeely, 2005 |
Click here for more information Normal or Healthy - What's your choice? Mother/Child healing connection Modern Meds = New World Religion
| Safe
Male|