The Bodymind Transformation Institute®
Bend, OR., and Mesa, AZ., USA

©Mark McFeely, 1993

With over 40 years of successfully transforming "impossible situations",
some of Mark's best successes have been with people who've been told,
"Just learn to live with it!"

If there is something you want to change,
but don't know how, call Mark NOW!
602-885-8008.

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The Safe Male, or................

“NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO SAY THAT ABOUT ME !”
©Mark McFeely. All rights reserved.

Jack always thought that he was his mother’s favorite child. He was by her side every chance he got, listening to her every word. Unfortunately these words were not often wonderful or flattering. To the contrary, they were usually complaining, derogatory remarks about his father. He so wanted to be close to her that he numbed himself to these remarks, but still, they had quite an influence on how he grew up. He decided that no-one was ever going to be able to say any of those things about him, so he developed his sensitivity and intuition to pre-empt situations. He was always one step ahead.

He never quite felt safe with his father, and always felt guilty about his feeling of being party to a conspiracy. His mother constantly spoke of leaving his father. Jack knew that she would not leave him, but he still felt embarrassed to carry such a secret. What confused him the most as a youngster was that his father singled him out from his brothers and sisters to vent his anger and frustration. He could not understand why he was being picked on, especially as he was careful not to do anything wrong, or if he did, that he would not be found out. He became a master sneak as part of his survival, but in spite of that, he still got it in the neck more often than not. Even though no one could prove that he had done anything wrong, he exuded a kind of smugness that infuriated. The strange thing here was that although he knew he was guilty, he also knew that there was no proof, and therefore his punishment was not justified.

Jack always found it easy to be in the company of females. He knew how to talk to them, what they liked to hear, and most of all, he had a sympathetic ear, and would impress them with his understanding of their situations. Well, why not? Didn’t he have a wonderful teacher in his mother.

The flip side of this was that he had a hard time relating to males, whether his own peers or adults. He took on the idea that the males were the bad guys, so he could not really associate with the enemy, so to speak. He could associate with men who were acceptable to the women around him, but only as long as they were on the list of favorites. Once they were off the list, he found it hard to be with them.

He would often listen to one or other female who would grieve and complain about the hard times she was having with her man. It was quite a price to pay for being needed. The women thought he was wonderful, and the men were suspicious of him. The conspiracy and secrecy continued. The sad part of this was that Jack craved companionship. He wanted so much to be needed; to have someone, anyone, hold him close, and take care of him. He would end up alone at night, having endured hours of bitching and complaining, wishing that one of those women would actually notice him and his own needs. Why would they not even give him a cuddle once in a while?

He had set it up with his women that he was safe. Over-writing his body language to say; “Look ! No penis!” Giving the feeling that this man is not looking for anything, so it is safe to be with him. A self made eunuch. He resented so much that he could not really be himself, and he had it wired up that it was the women who were to blame for controlling his life. Ironically, the nice, understanding man who so wanted to be loved, could also be a raging woman hater.

When, in an unguarded moment he would try to kiss or fondle the woman, she would react with outrage and indignation. Rightly so, because he had not included any of that in either the verbal or non-verbal dialogue up to that point. In fact, he had been making very definite signals to the contrary. So, to spring it on her at that time was interpreted as an assault, or at the very least, a deception. He could not understand how or why she was so upset, and why she threw him out, or left, never to have anything to do with him again.

Unfortunately, each reinforced their unconscious realities around relating and sexuality. Worse still, he never understood what went wrong. He even felt that “She owes me. Look what I have done for her.” Yes, he may have done a lot, or given to her in many ways, but the covert way in which he established their relationship was dishonest, and could only bring a messy conclusion.

Many men are living their lives subject to this same chemistry - Fear of rejection. They are the soft, safe males, who are afraid to take their place in the world. They are afraid of their own male energy. Afraid of being seen to be dangerous, destructive men.

The first step in changing this is to recognize the program. Then seek assistance from someone who has the skills and experience to facilitate transforming it. Bodymind Transformation is a very easy and effective way to transform this programming, without lengthy processing.






Contact information:

Mark McFeely
The Bodymind Transformation Institute®
Bend, OR and Mesa, AZ., USA

Tel: 602-885-8008.

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Please read this disclaimer:

Mark McFeely is a metaphysical healer, not a medical practitioner. He does not directly, or indirectly dispense medical advice, diagnose, or prescribe. He offers information based on his own opinions, experiences, and personal preferences. The information, ideas, theories, philosophies and opinions offered, whether verbal, written or implied, are intended to be solely informational and educational.

If you have any questions about your personal health and well being, you are advised to consult a qualified medical practitioner.

©Mark McFeely, 1993. All rights reserved.
Bodymind Transformation®, and The Bodymind Transformation Institute
®
are registered trade marks, property of Mark McFeely since 1992.

Click here for more information

Mother/Child healing connection

Heal my disbelief

Say No to Death!

Normal or Healthy - What's your choice? 

 Unfinished Business

Modern Meds = New World Religion

Just Looking

Live to Live, or Live to Die?

Fireman's story

Dying for Love

The car of his dreams