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The
Safe Male, or................
“NO
ONE IS EVER GOING TO SAY THAT ABOUT ME !”
©Mark
McFeely. All rights reserved.
Jack
always thought that he was his mother’s favorite child. He was by
her side every chance he got, listening to her every word. Unfortunately
these words were not often wonderful or flattering. To the contrary, they
were usually complaining, derogatory remarks about his father. He so wanted
to be close to her that he numbed himself to these remarks, but still,
they had quite an influence on how he grew up. He decided that no-one
was ever going to be able to say any of those things about him,
so he developed his sensitivity and intuition to pre-empt situations.
He was always one step ahead.
He never quite felt safe with his father, and always felt guilty about
his feeling of being party to a conspiracy. His mother constantly spoke
of leaving his father. Jack knew that she would not leave him, but he
still felt embarrassed to carry such a secret. What confused him the most
as a youngster was that his father singled him out from his brothers and
sisters to vent his anger and frustration. He could not understand why
he was being picked on, especially as he was careful not to do anything
wrong, or if he did, that he would not be found out. He became a master
sneak as part of his survival, but in spite of that, he still got it in
the neck more often than not. Even though no one could prove that he had
done anything wrong, he exuded a kind of smugness that infuriated. The
strange thing here was that although he knew he was guilty, he also knew
that there was no proof, and therefore his punishment was not justified.
Jack always found it easy to be in the company of females. He knew how
to talk to them, what they liked to hear, and most of all, he had a sympathetic
ear, and would impress them with his understanding of their situations.
Well, why not? Didn’t he have a wonderful teacher in his mother.
The flip side of this was that he had a hard time relating to males, whether
his own peers or adults. He took on the idea that the males were the bad
guys, so he could not really associate with the enemy, so to speak. He
could associate with men who were acceptable to the women around him,
but only as long as they were on the list of favorites. Once they were
off the list, he found it hard to be with them.
He would often listen to one or other female who would grieve and complain
about the hard times she was having with her man. It was quite a price
to pay for being needed. The women thought he was wonderful, and the men
were suspicious of him. The conspiracy and secrecy continued. The sad
part of this was that Jack craved companionship. He wanted so much to
be needed; to have someone, anyone, hold him close, and take care of him.
He would end up alone at night, having endured hours of bitching and complaining,
wishing that one of those women would actually notice him and his own
needs. Why would they not even give him a cuddle once in a while?
He had set it up with his women that he was safe. Over-writing his body
language to say; “Look ! No penis!” Giving the feeling that
this man is not looking for anything, so it is safe to be with him. A
self made eunuch. He resented so much that he could not really be himself,
and he had it wired up that it was the women who were to blame for controlling
his life. Ironically, the nice, understanding man who so wanted to be
loved, could also be a raging woman hater.
When, in an unguarded moment he would try to kiss or fondle the woman,
she would react with outrage and indignation. Rightly so, because he had
not included any of that in either the verbal or non-verbal dialogue up
to that point. In fact, he had been making very definite signals to the
contrary. So, to spring it on her at that time was interpreted as an assault,
or at the very least, a deception. He could not understand how or why
she was so upset, and why she threw him out, or left, never to have anything
to do with him again.
Unfortunately, each reinforced their unconscious realities around relating
and sexuality. Worse still, he never understood what went wrong. He even
felt that “She owes me. Look what I have done for her.” Yes,
he may have done a lot, or given to her in many ways, but the covert way
in which he established their relationship was dishonest, and could only
bring a messy conclusion.
Many men are living their lives subject to this same chemistry - Fear
of rejection. They are the soft, safe males, who are afraid to take their
place in the world. They are afraid of their own male energy. Afraid of
being seen to be dangerous, destructive men.
The first step in changing this is to recognize the program. Then seek
assistance from someone who has the skills and experience to facilitate
transforming it. Bodymind Transformation is a very easy and effective
way to transform this programming, without lengthy processing.
Contact
information:
Mark McFeely
The Bodymind Transformation Institute®
Bend,
OR and Mesa, AZ., USA
Tel:
602-885-8008.
Click
here to E-mail Mark McFeely
Home Page
Click
here for more information
Mother/Child
healing connection
Heal
my disbelief
Say
No to Death!
Normal
or Healthy - What's your choice?
Unfinished
Business
Modern
Meds = New World Religion
Just
Looking
Live
to Live, or Live to Die?
Fireman's
story
Dying
for Love
The
car of his dreams
Mark McFly's
Home Page
Mark
McFeely's Home Page
Please
read this disclaimer:
Mark
McFeely is a metaphysical healer, not a medical practitioner.
He does not directly, or indirectly dispense medical advice, diagnose,
or prescribe. He offers information based on his own opinions, experiences,
and personal preferences. The information, ideas, theories, philosophies
and opinions offered, whether verbal, written or implied, are intended
to be solely informational and educational.
If you have any questions about your personal health and well being, you
are advised to consult a qualified medical practitioner.
©Mark
McFeely, 1993. All rights reserved.
Bodymind Transformation®, and The Bodymind Transformation
Institute®
are registered trade marks, property
of Mark McFeely since 1992.
|
Click
here for more information
Mother/Child
healing connection
Heal
my disbelief
Say
No to Death!
Normal
or Healthy - What's your choice?
Unfinished
Business
Modern
Meds = New World Religion
Just
Looking
Live
to Live, or Live to Die?
Fireman's
story
Dying
for Love
The
car of his dreams |